Is it my fault that my Daughter is a picky eater?
Question: Is it my fault that my Daughter is a picky eater?
I asked a question earlier about my picky toddler…Got a lot of repsonses that its my fault, i’ve taught her to eat the way she does. However, when she first started eating foods besides “baby foods” almost any veggie I offered her she didn’t like…I offered the veggies several times and still no luck- I didn’t want her to go hungry at times so I would offer her nuggets, fries, spaghetti, basically anything she would eat because she was/is SO picky…I did not want her to go hungry and trust me shes so stubborn she would resist any foods unless it was something she likes…Just wondering If I’m the cause and what I can do to fix this? I want her eating healthy and I really do try my best to offer her needs foods or new veggies its just she resists them each time…She will eat mostly all fruits so there isn’ a problem there…Thanks for answering!
I said she eats mostly ALL fruits! However, I AM trying to make her eat healthy! But, when she resists EVERYTHING (veggies mainly) that I give her, Im sorry, but I cannot let my Daughter go hungry. I have a very uneasy feeling thinking about that- I’m trying to make her eat healthy- I mean she doesn’t eat junk food constantly or anything like that- its just she prefers what she likes ( chicken soup, spaghetti, nuggets, fries, grilled cheese, and mostly all fruits. )
Answer:
Answer by Amanda C
well, my parents told us that we will eat what they prepare or we wont eat at all. We went hungry a few nights as chidren. But we stopped being picky pretty fast.
There are many instances in which tough love is necessary.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
One way or another, you have to make her eat fruits and vegetables. It is the ONLY way. Over time they will like what they are fed growing up. There is absolutely no excuse for just not making her eat healthy.
A lot of kids have problems with veggies. But she won’t go hungry. When she’s hungry she’ll eat whatever you give her. If she won’t eat it, try taking the food away for 30 minutes and giving it back. Just keep it up. She’ll eventually eat better foods if you don’t give in and give her unhealthy ones.
Don’t beat yourself up over this. It is not your fault at all. I have three kids, tried to feed them all the same way. I have two who will eat anything and one who has to be one of the pickiest eaters on the planet. She is 8 and still is a pain. If its not chicken or doesn’t “look good” she won’t eat it. Give it time. Their tastebuds aren’t fully developed yet she may get better at an older age. My little bro was picky too, he now will eat anything.
My daughter is two years old, and seems just like yours! She is a very picky eater. I gave her rice pudding the other day, and she actually picked out EVERY single piece of rice.
Your daughter likes fruits, so that’s a start. Seems like it’s just the veggie thing. I have a juicer that i use a lot. If you don’t have one, then just buy juice at the store. She drinks nearly everything i put in the juice, because it’s so tasty, plus she gets all the vitamins and all that good stuff.
It is not your fault! Giving into her whining is a bad thing, but you’re only making sure your child doesn’t starve! And trust me, i know that sometimes it feels like she will never eat what you want her to!
The juice idea really works for my daughter. Just ask her pediatrician, he will probably prescribe some vitamins for her. Or maybe a protein drink. Don’t fret over this, her eyes will open up to more foods! I know it is frustrating.
Good luck with this!
Try sneaking in veggies, like instead of making french fries make sweet potato fries. Make spaghetti with relay fine chopped veggies that she cannot see and use whole wheat pasta. Just don’t tell her they have veggies in them. Experiment to see want you can make healthier.
Oh honey, motherhood is racked with guilt. Do what you can, and thats all you can to. If she doesn’t like fruits and veggies, maybe you can sneak them in by grinding veggies into the spaghetti sauce, things like that. You are a good mom so don’t worry about it. They have supplemental drinks for kids like yours also.
I would just try to offer the veggies first, and then if a no go totally, then go ahead and give fruits, its not like fruits are bad…
nothing is wrong with chicken soup and grilled cheese, sometimes its all you can get a kid to eat.
If my daughter sees watermelon, she will ear nothing else. She will yell and cry for it, lol… She is 11 months, I just give it to her.
I don’t think it’s productive to fret over whether or not it’s your “fault.” But it is your responsibility to fix it. You’re a smart, caring mother and you know that what your daughter eats is not healthy. You want your daughter to eat better.
But something you have to accept is that most of what your daughter likes to eat are “convenience foods” – so-called because they are quick and easy to prepare and provide a quick jolt of carbs and fat. You daughter’s diet sounds like how I ate in my 20′s when I worked all the time and never cooked.
I think you need to devote some energy to this and be willing to face some resistance in the short term. Obviously you don’t want your daughter to go hungry. But missing a meal is a short-term thing and worth it if it solves a long-term problem.
So, go to the grocery store and buy some stuff. Make her a decent lunch, say some steamed green beans, a little water-packed tuna and a hard-boiled egg. Or whatever. Say “This is lunch.” If she refuses it, don’t give in. That was lunch, she refused to eat it, fine.
Make a healthy dinner. A little sauted chicken cut into chunks, maybe with some broccoli and elbow macaroni with a little butter. “This is dinner.” Don’t give her dessert (even fruit.) If the food is of high quality, she will eat it. Don’t turn it into a battle. Don’t placate her with food that she likes if she refuses. Just offer it. She might fuss and she might be hungry, but there are worse things in life than missing a meal. I haven’t eaten three meals a day since I gave birth.
Keep doing it. It’s okay for her to have preferences – she can dislike brussels sprouts, love green beans, be lukewarm on mushrooms. That’s fine. But serve these things regularly. They are the meal that is being served. Don’t break out the nuggets and fries just because she refuses them – she knows that you will and she has a very strong will.
You’re a good mom Cricket and this is tough. But I think you know what your daughter needs to be eating. So just do it. Once she gets on track she can have nuggets and soup again, sure, once in a while. Just not every day. You can do it! I know that you can.
I’m sorry to say that the only way to “cure” this situation is to prepare a food, offer it, and then if she doesn’t eat it, then she doesn’t eat that night. She will learn that she has to eat whatever foods you are offering or she doesn’t eat. It’s as simple as that.
Unfortunately you have been letting her determine what she eats for some time so it may take a few nights of her not eating for her to realize she can no longer control what you feed the family. She is not “going hungry.” She will definitely survive without eating a night meal. If you feel better, clear the plan of action with your pediatrician.
Basically you need to stop this now or it will only get worse as she grows up.
To soften the technique, one approach to try is “First X, then Y.” So offer peas and show her “First eat peas, then eat applesauce.” She will resist you, but you need to be firm. If she doesn’t eat the peas, she can’t get the applesauce. Don’t breakdown and give her the applesauce because they she will know that she can manipulate you.
Good luck.