Healthy Cooking

Question: Am I spending too much money or is my husband being too hard on me?
I feel like crying because I feel a lot of pressure to do things JUST RIGHT or else he’ll make me feel guilty for spending too much. I am a stay at home mom who mostly manages our grocery money. I get $ 100 a week to spend on food (we are a family of three). I have been couponing for awhile now to save on money and it works, but I’m still new at it and sometimes in tears after a shopping a trip if I spend even $ 80. My husband says whatever money is leftover from the $ 100 is mine to keep so I’m always trying to find ways to save money so that I can have money to save up for my own things. He’s been getting really upset with me lately for buying little things here and there such as: a 14 pk of toilet paper for $ 4.99, frozen pizza rolls for .29 each, a pack of pens forr 1.99, and rice for .66 each. These are things spent outside of the $ 100 he gives me, but things that we do need or are so cheap its kinda dumb not to buy them while they are still on sale! Last week I spent a little too much and ended up having to skip the produce section so we had no apples or bananas or snacks (which is a big deal when you’re vegan!) When I told him this he said, “Well next time you’re hungry take a bite out of your hair since you had enough money to buy your hair products that you needed.” His reasoning was “What’s more important hair spray or food?” I told him that I freaked when they totaled the price and it was more than I expected so I got too scared to put stuff back and I started grabbing random things (my fruits and veggies) and he said he understood but still pushed his point that because I went over the budget we can’t buy anything else for food. Last night we both saw a deal that got us pizza bread for .29 each and he got real excited and said “Yea baby! Go buy that! And go get some milk cause we need that too.” So I went and there was no pizza bread, but I got the milk and started thinking about some ice pops so I asked him if we could get some. I told him the prices and he said it was okay. Well today I went back to the store to see if the pizza bread was still there and it was and I got it plus a pack of pens because we have NOTHING to write with at home. I also got the rice because they were soooo cheap. I called him to check with him that it was okay and he said fine. Then I called him to ask him if he wanted me to stock up on the toilet paper for $ 4.99 and he said “I tell you not to spend money and what do you do? You spend money.” Which really confused me and hurt me because he told me I could buy stuff and now he’s venting it out on me. The problem is that I am really good at blaming myself for things (daughter of an alcoholic) so I will easily accept blame, but it also makes me very angry when I feel I’m accepting blame for something I’m not doing. So I get a mix of being mad at myself and being mad at him and its really hard. I don’t know what to do. Am I spending too much money by buying things here and there outside of the budget? Or am I doing the right thing by asking him if its okay and he’s just being too hard on me about money?
I thought I’d also add a note for those who think I should get my own job. I would if I could but I have this thing called Chiari Malformation and it makes it really hard for me to hold a stable job because some weeks I’m fine and other weeks I get really sick and can’t do much. Otherwise I would work.

Answer:

Answer by Nicholas
Start standing up for yourself and go out and earn your own money.

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